I am 2 years old. I am confused. My Daddy didn't come home today. Now my Grandma is crying and telling me he died. He refused a blood transfusion because we are Jehovah's Witnesses. I take it that I am not lovable enough to choose to stay alive for. I must try harder.
I grow up in a toxic soup with an emotionally dead mother and a “terrified of life” sister.
Now, I am 6 years old. The Monster is back. The doorbell is ringing again and soon the window will smash. I brace myself for the abuse that will follow. I desperately try to hide my Mum and Sister before he climbs through the smashed window.
Today is just one of the many brutalising fits of abuse that will continue until I run away. My little fists want to overcome that Monster every time he appears. Even though he will get arrested again, the Cult enables the abuse and it continues until I am able to arise.
Until then, I develop a way to survive. I spend the rest of my childhood as a well-trained, psychologically manipulated, people-pleaser in the hope that good behaviour will be rewarded with scraps of love.
Leap forward to 16 years old, and I have had enough. I run away and I am homeless. I run from my family and the Cult. They shun me. It's their policy. I have never returned. My family are still in the Cult and they continue to shun me.
But I am free. Well physically. Alone in a world, I know nothing of. The Cult bans mixing with anyone in the "World". Now I was in it. Alone. But it is great. I discover who I am when I'm not being controlled.
After a few years enjoying what life has to offer, I meet the man who will become my husband. He love bombs me into feeling safe, protected and part of a family. That doesn't last long, but I stay for 14 more years. We have two beautiful daughters and I am trying hard to comply with his rules.
During this time, having to be the breadwinner, I take myself through University and study hard. I embark on the most marvellous successful career empowering women.
Leap forward a few years, while our youngest is a baby, I become very ill. The doctors diagnose me with cancer. I am terrified. We are all terrified.
It takes 2 years of gruelling chemotherapy and a full stem cell transplant, when it happens....the wake-up call.
I am gripping onto the bathroom sink in UCH Hospital, London.
I am in my hospital gown with no hair and I catch myself in the mirror. Physically I am at my lowest. I am in the pit of feeling less than enough.
Then I hear my inner self-call. As I look into my eyes in the mirror, this is my deciding point.
I have to get through this illness. I have to learn to love myself.
It's five years later and I have clawed myself to emotional and physical health and I summon up the courage to end my marriage.
I am free again. This time as a single mum. I can breathe. I enjoy some good relationships but I find myself mesmerised my man who turns out to be my Final Narcissist. Boy, I love that man. Our times aren't all bad but he rules to his manipulative pattern. I am once again in a soul-destroying, toxic relationship drama.
Leap another 5 years and I no longer recognise myself as I have desperately contorted myself to fit his dysfunction.
My heart is so broken, I want to end my life. But something within me stirs, this is not how my love story ends.
I put my psychology head into action, apply the laws of the Universe. I reawaken myself spiritually and psychologically. I learn to transform myself step by step from Slave-girl in relationships to Queen of Love, Actually.
As the Love Psychology Coach and Magical Woman, I help women have it all and fall in love. I couldn't wish for a better way to live than fulfilling my life's work by helping women breakthrough to their fantastic love life!
My work has been featured on BBC, Radio, Sunday Times, Independent, News of the World, EVE, Take a Break, Spirit Radio, Break the Silence Summits and Freedom Hour.
Yes, I’ve been a busy woman! All that experience (plus many years of psychological and spiritual study) has led me here: to a place where I can provide exceptional value and service to you.
The best relationship of all, I actually love being me, Lisa Magdalena! I have learnt never to abandon myself for love again. I have learnt that no matter what others may do or say, I am enough.
I have a beautiful life by the ocean outside London, UK and California, U.S.A. Friends I adore, a funny little dog called Pudding, two weird cats who make me laugh every day, two grown daughters who have created their own lives, nephews that I love, my health, a love coaching business that's my life's work...
... and a love that's super special who shares my passion for our joint adventures and my life coach mission.
We can't wait to see where our next adventure will be together. We are planning it now so watch this space!
Okay, so enough about me, let’s talk about YOU. I’d love to speak with you about your dreams, goals and challenges. It all starts with one call.